


Ignorance is Bliss

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Character Death, Deceit | Janus Sanders Needs a Hug, Fluff and Angst, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), I Made Myself Cry, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Major Character Injury, Platonic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Platonic Soulmates, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Romantic Soulmates, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Soulmates, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:26:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28566921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Patton suggest that he and Janus share how long they each have left, unaware of just how sensitive Janus is to the topic, and terrifying the truth can be without a shield.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. The Countdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton suggest that he and Janus share how long they each have left, unaware of just how sensitive Janus is to the topic, and terrifying the truth can be without a shield.

When Janus was younger, barely old enough to understand the soulmate system, his father told him something. Something important, something he’d wished he remembered earlier.

His father told him the day his mother would die. The younger and much more innocent boy only recognized the day as his own birthday. Growing up his birthday felt strange after that, like something bad was always going to happen on that day, though he could never understand why. 

That is, until it finally happened. On Janus’ 16th birthday his mother, rushing to pick up a present for him, died. He didn’t find out until early the following morning. 

Janus stopped celebrating his birthday after that, and now that he’s old enough to remember that his father told him so early in life all he can think of is one thing, his father should've lied. He should’ve kept the truth to himself and left him as oblivious as his mother. 

Better yet, he should’ve tried to stop it. Stop his mother from leaving that day, never let her out of his sight. Janus knew what would happen, deep down he knew something bad would happen on his birthday. So even he should’ve at least attempted to keep her nearby. 

Thinking about any of it makes his head spin, it makes him want to throw up and run away. It makes him wish he could’ve stopped it.

But he didn’t, and now he’s left with a chance to keep someone else oblivious to their own fate. To hide the truth from them in an attempt to keep them safe. It was almost laughable how the universe wanted so badly for him to repeat his fathers actions. But no, he wouldn’t. He would keep this person safe. He wouldn’t allow them to die, not this time. Ignorance is bliss, right?

Janus’ soulmate, had been all too enthusiastic when suggesting they told each other how long they each have, and Janus, being unable to say no to him, had stupidly obliged. 

It didn’t seem like too bad of an idea at the time, not when Patton had smiled so brightly at him. Not when the sweet Patton gleefully squealed when he saw the whopping 87 years Janus had left. Especially not when Patton had started gushing about spending all of those years having fun together. 

But then it was his turn to check Patton’s countdown, Janus who had never dared even glanced at Pat’s wrist out of fear was now going to have to tell him upfront how many days he had left. 

“Janus…? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, it can be a surprise!” Said Patton, seeing how distraught his soulmate had become. Janus shook his head, gesturing for Patton to place his hand out.

“It’s...fine Pat. You want to know, and I’m in no place to hide it from you.” Patton shot him a concerned look before placing his hand into his grip, turning his wrist so that Janus may see it.

Janus stared at the number, then blinked, and checked again. He didn’t need to divide the number into years, he knew right away how long it would be, and it made his heart race. His stomach churn, and his sweat run cold.

Then, he sighed a breath of what appeared to be relief to Patton, and the cheerfulness returned to Pat’s face.  
“Well go on then! Don’t keep me in suspense.”

Janus lifted his head, a smile spreading on his face.  
“You have 89 years. I suppose we’ll have plenty of time to do all of the things you suggested, huh?” 

Patton gasped and threw his arms around Janus’ neck causing him to stumble backwards, straight into his couch. “Oh Janus, that’s wonderful! We should go out today, right now even! We can get ice cream, or cake, or anything to celebrate!” 

The slightly taller boy gushed on about what flavors they should get, and suggested tens of dozens of toppings to Janus in his streak. 

“How about you go get ready first, I don’t think it’s very suitable to leave the house in a cat onesie.” Patton paused and looked down at his light gray onesie, then he chuckled, out beginning to walk towards Janus’ bedroom.

“I suppose you’re right, I’ll see if I brought anything suitable for an ice cream date then. I’ll be back in just a second!”

Janus nodded, his vision clouding and smile faltering as Patton left the room, the tears forming in his eyes as he closed them. The only thing he could think of being his pure, sweet soulmate Patton, and the number 157.


	2. The Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus doesn’t know what to do with this newfound information, his habits change in a matter of days and his friends noticed almost immediately.

Janus had been stressed out the rest of that week, although he tried his best to put up a front for Patton, that facade fell pretty quickly when he wasn’t around. It didn’t take long for his platonic soulmate, Virgil to realize something was up and the first thing he did was alert his own boyfriend and soulmate, Logan. 

This wouldn’t have been a problem, if Logan wasn’t someone who read everyone just as easily as a library book. But he was, and he had a stupid urge to solve every problem in the most “logical” way possible. There was no way Janus would allow that, not this time. This is something he needs to solve on his own. If it can be solved at all that is.

Though Janus had told himself all of these things repeatedly here he was, over at his friend’s apartment and holding back his urge to bawl his eyes out into Virgil’s sweatshirt in front of Patton. Fortunately he did have the self control to simply appear tired instead of...whatever he’s feeling right now.

“Janus, are you feeling alright? You seem a bit pale.”  
said Logan, not even looking up from the book he’d been reading and taking notes from. Next to him Virgil who was previously watching Logan, was now watching Janus with a slight look of sympathy on his face.

“He’s right you know, you’ve been awfully sickly looking lately. Have you come down with something?” Patton said, looking up at Janus from his lap. 

“I have no idea why, I’ve been keeping up with all my normal habits.” Janus lied, almost too easily. The words left his lisp before he could even process them correctly. He hadn’t been sleeping for the past week, let alone eating. He couldn’t eat, whenever he did he threw it up in the next hour, and then that was immediately followed by crying. 

Luckily for Janus he doubted Patton knew about that part seeing as he wasn’t being coddled into bed and swaddled up in blankets. 

“Maybe you just need a bit more rest than usual? You do tire yourself out often.” Virgil added, although it was so quietly that if the room hadn’t been so quiet Janus doubted he would’ve been heard. 

It stayed quiet for a bit after that; no real sounds aside from the pages in Logan’s book turning occasionally. Then in the silence was a loud alarm, an irritatingly blaring sound of cat meows and dog barks. Patton jumped up from Janus’ lap at the sound and quickly dug through his pocket, taking out his phone.

“That’s my cue, I’ll be back later okay?” Patton said after checking the time on his phone to make sure it was in fact time to leave. Janus nodded slowly, his own face morphing to mimic the smile on Patton’s. 

“Have fun at work, don’t hurt yourself.” Logan said from behind them, his book now slammed shut after the shock of Patton’s rather odd alarm. 

Patton threw on his coat and waved goodbye to everyone again, kissing Janus’ cheek quickly before leaving. Almost as soon as Pat was gone Virgil had jumped over the couch and sat next to Janus, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Alright, spill. What’s up with you lately?” he said interrogatively. Logan who was approaching the couch as well added, “More importantly, why are you trying to hide it from Patton.”

Janus’ jaw locked and he started sweating profusely. This was to be expected. Those two had noticed and it was lucky they took this long to say anything to him, but now they have. Should he lie? No, Logan can usually tell when he’s lying because of some sort of “tell” he has apparently. 

But if he avoids it altogether Virgil will begin to worry even more, which won’t help anyone at all. But, maybe they could help. He hasn’t done anything that helps the situation so far, and maybe others' insights would help.

Janus’ hand began to shake, his breaths became shaky and heavy and his eyes began to tear. He has done nothing to help Patton, nothing to avoid his fate, and most importantly, he’s wasted these last few days being scared for him instead of savoring his presence. He was wasting time, precious, treasured time. The little bit of time that he had left with Patton. 

“It’s hopeless. Nothing I do will matter...will it?”  
The expression on Logan’s face softened as his hand landed on Janus’ shoulder, rubbing it gently.

“You need to tell us what’s wrong, we want to help you.” Virgil’s originally somewhat playful tone slipped away as he spoke, his voice cracking and Janus could hear his own breath speeding up alongside Virgil’s.

“I-I’m fine. There’s-“ 

“Bullshit. That’s bullshit and you know it.” Virgil growled out, interrupting Janus’ excuse and making him jump back a bit.

Janus tried to come up with another reason, a better one. One that would take away their worries but each time he went to talk his throat would close, forcing him to choke on his words, which didn’t help the tears that were now running down his face. 

“I-It’s Patton. He’s…”

“Is he ill?” Logan said, squeezing on Janus’ shoulder gently, the concern clear in his voice.

“He’s...not going to be here soon.” Janus’ voice was low, and squeaky. It was hardly audible at all and he couldn’t tell whether the other two had heard him at all. 

“What do you mean? Is he going on a trip?” Virgil said, slowly. His hand moving on top of Janus’ in a small, almost miniscule attempt to comfort him.

“No I mean he’s going to be...he’s going to…” His throat closed up again as his own state broke down. None of this was fair, this isn’t fair. Why. Why him, why Patton? Why so soon? As each of the questions flashed through his mind the tears came down heavier, more and more until he was sobbing into Virgil’s shoulder. The one thing he promised himself he wouldn’t be doing. 

“Patton’s going to die in a little over 5 months. And I can’t do anything to stop it…” 

Virgil stiffened under his grip, and Logan froze. Patton, was going to die? Not even a year from now, Patton would be...gone. Gone? Why? How did Janus even kno- The countdown. The stupid countdown. Of course this had to do with that. Virgil’s arms squeezed Janus into a deeper hug, neither of them seemed to even flinch when Logan’s arms soon wrapped around both of them.

“Janus...I am so...sorry.”


End file.
